There is a difference between positive focus and denial
For those of us who practice self-development and living our best lives, being positively focused is a must. Because we know the value of our energy and we understand the power of our thoughts, we strive for a positive attitude. We know that gratitude brings more things to be grateful for and appreciation brings more to be appreciated.
Most empowered people believe in self-inquiry and welcome opportunities to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally. This commitment to self-development requires a level of honesty that is often considered rare in today’s western society. In order to be this honest with yourself, sometimes* questioning your thoughts and beliefs is a must. In doing this, you find that even the most healthy and spiritual practices can become toxic when taken to an unhealthy extreme. You also find that literally, everything in life is a paradox. Then, with each paradox you uncover, you find that the sweet spot is somewhere in the middle and the solution is always about balance.
This brings me to my most recently thought out paradox — the paradox of optimism and denial.
Yes, we wish to find the good in life and in the world. Yes, we want to live in a place of appreciation more of the time. We know the power of acceptance and the pain of resistance. The more we focus on something, the more it grows. We trust the process. We have faith. We believe in the power of doing the right thing and we know that being in alignment with the highest good of all is our super-power. But, it is infinitely important not to mistake being positively focused for being in complete and utter denial.
It is very easy to use my optimism and undying faith in the human spirit to rationalize being in denial about a person, group of people or situation. And, when the things I am unknowingly using to rationalize are bright, shiny and spiritual sounding, it makes it even more difficult to detect my self-deceit.
It is never easy to detect our own denial because we are in denial. It happens to everyone on some level. There is no magic cure to denial or foolproof way to completely stop it from entering our experience.
Realizing that we are in denial does not make us bad, stupid or spiritually unfit. All it means is that we are human and we are allowing ourselves to understand and accept something that we would not allow ourselves to understand and accept before.
When you find yourself in denial, do not be upset with yourself for not knowing before, but be super proud of yourself for knowing now. Move forward with your newfound understanding and hold your head high.
It’s time for another chapter of life.
*The paradox of self-doubt and self-inquiry coming soon. lol
Written by Holly Kellums
Originally published on Medium.com