Sometimes, desperation is a gift. And sometimes it is the most unbearable pain that saves our lives. Complete defeat is necessary for a stubborn person, like me, who refuses to start again.
Regardless whether you were in the program or not, it would be true that most humans who experience trauma need healing. The only difference between us and normies is that if we don’t heal it, we will likely use again. And if we use again, we will likely die.
You cannot heal your wounds if you are not honest about them being there or fix your problems if you do not admit that they exist. Without being honest, you cannot accept responsibility for your part in things, and without accepting responsibility for your part in things, you cannot change things.
When your loved one is spiritually and emotionally ill, addicted, or demoralized, your love cannot save them. When your loved one doesn’t love themselves, your love cannot save them. When they are drowning in a sea of their self-created crisis, your love cannot save them.
The truth is, you could do everything right and still relapse. And you can find all the mistakes that you believe led to your relapse, but you will never know for certain if changing these things would have prevented it.
In order to understand addiction and the way it has been allowed to consume so many American lives, you must understand that addicts use when they don’t want to.
We have been invited to grab ahold of a new idea that is gaining momentum. And as passionate as many of us are about decriminalization and ending the war on drugs, it is no surprise that someone came up with such a far-out proposal. It makes sense that this nonsensical idea would make sense to some people who have no real-life experience with addiction. But to anyone who has treaded the waters of opiate addiction, it is a baffling idea to consider.
We must admit that these displaced urban communities are so powerful that they control the lives of every person who lives there. This is true regardless of skin color. I do not highlight this to prove that all colors suffer but to demonstrate the power of gentrification.
Jillian’s peers had made it out like the world ended when you used any substance, but the world hadn’t ended at all. In fact, it felt exactly the same. She still had no desire to use it and was looking forward to doing step work with Jen that evening. Even more, after the magic of last night, she was looking forward to it more than the day before.
When she had first arrived to the rooms, one of the first things Jillian heard was that she had to change her people, places and things. Which made sense because like they always say, “If you keep going to the barbershop, you are going to get a haircut.” But when her old friend Sarah called, she was delighted to hear from her. Sarah wasn’t around during the years Jillian spent curled up into a miserable ball at the feet of addiction.