Just like slavery and segregation, rape culture has been rewrapped in a new paper, with a new and shiny bow. That bow helps us sleep at night. But underneath that paper is the same old ugly thing. The New Rape Culture is working seamlessly. It leaves its victims powerless and alone.
It took me 20 years to realize that when he carried me from the toilet to my bed, covered in vomit from over-intoxication, it was rape. It took me 20 years to realize that, at the age of 15, I was a child.
As far back as we can remember, perceived ugliness and misconduct of this world has been blamed on women. Women have been oppressed, abused, raped and silenced for hundreds of years.
Many people spend their lives blaming others and circumstances for their chronic unhappiness. You don’t have to be one of them. You can release the role of the victim, the betrayed and the abandoned. Stop using your painful past to vindicate the imperfections that don’t need an explanation. Being human is your gift to this world. The moment you embrace this, you can move forward with grace and dignity. You can become the victor.
Many stories and concepts can be summed up with this statement and it seems to be a common thread among stories that give writing advice — the shaming of so-called, well, I don’t know what they call them… not-writers maybe?
An expanded excerpt from my essay, America — The Change We Seek, providing a short form concept explanation about our lexicon and how it controls the way we think.
A great many writers, musicians and creators do not practice what they preach but preach what they wish to practice. That is not good or bad, but it is just the way it is. It does not discount their message.
Because we do not want to look at the ugly side of our heroes, we put away the sides of them and the facts of their existence that we find undesirable.
Developing the ability to be soft and strong is truly an art. It is a gift, a talent, and a superpower. However, it takes a little longer for others to accept and understand because it is so different. People have a hard time comprehending that someone can be two seemingly opposite things at the same time. As humans, we are inclined to place people in either one category or another. We have what one of my favorite authors, Jen Sincero, likes to call the “either-or syndrome”. Soft or strong, good or bad, creative or responsible, the list goes on.
We struggle because we have been told our whole lives to “stop bragging.” Every aspect of human nature is a double-sided coin and when it comes to the coin of self-celebration, we often confuse it with the other side of the coin— self-promotion, grandiosity, self-absorption and greed.